Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Weight Watchers for Cats

"Meow Meow mew.... MEOW meow meOOOOOOWWWW meow meow MEOW Meow MEOOOWWWW mew mew meOWWW mew mew meow mew MEow...."

My name is Simon, and I am an overeater.

(Other cats: Hello Simon.)

I go to my food bowl, lie down, and eat as much food as possible as quickly as I am able. I then go to the food bowl of my friend Penny, lie down, and do the same.

My owner, Strem, finally took me to the vet last week. The vet doesn't blame her. Dr. Randla knows that I weighed a whopping 23 pounds when I was given to Strem by my previous owner, Bryan. In fact, in the first year of staying with Strem, I actually lost 1 pound because she made me run up and down the steps to the basement.

But, last fall, when Strem took on a new job, and I was home alone more often, I was able to eat more and sleep more - just the way I like it. I have to admit, when I saw the vet scale reach the 25 pound mark, that I was a little shocked. I mean, I did realize that I just hadn't been looking the same in the mirror, but I had no idea I weighed 25 pounds (even though Strem's mom had the audacity to bring up my growing weight SEVERAL TIMES during her last visit. How rude!)

Well, last week, I fear my time of chowing down and napping all day came to a screeching halt. Dr. Randla suggested that I join - of all things - "The Losers Club" at the vet office. Why I never!!! The nerve of him to suggest it!!! He wants me to weigh 19 pounds by next April. 6 pounds in 8 months. The stress of thinking about it just makes me want to eat! Well, here's my new diet food. (I hate to admit it, but it is actually pretty tasty.)

The vet sent home all sorts of pamphlets for Strem to read. I am sure these brochures are just packed with devious tactics for making me exercise. She's already making me climb up and down the stairs while she works on house projects. I am going to find those brochures and chew them up as quickly as possible. If only she hadn't put them up on a high shelf! Oddly, the Losers Club packet include a book on weight loss for dogs. (I think I received a blessing on that mistake!)

The Losers Club packet also included some low calorie, low fat treats (I gobble them down!) and some cat toys that are supposed to increase my exercise. I enjoy sitting back and watching Penny play with them.

Strem may give you some updates on my progress (or lack thereof) in the coming months. Or, maybe you can come over for a visit to see for yourself. After all of the climbing this week, I think I may have already lost some weight. That nosey veterinarian! Hopefully Strem will leave on a vacation soon, and I can have some time to myself to nap and dream about food.


Dani said...


I think Simon should post more often!

Owl of the Desert said...

HAHA! That was hilarious!