To-Do Lists

I was sitting at my desk, writing out my to-do list for the rest of the week, when I was reminded of a funny to-do list that made me laugh out loud.

Quasimodo's "To-Do" List for Nov. 15, 1482
by Oscar Martinez
1. Ring bells
2. Take calcium
3. Save Gypsy girl from gallows
4. Ring bells more

This then prompted me to go back to the literary site where I found it: McSweeney's Internet Tendency. Some of my friends have received McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, a quarterly collection of fiction from some of today's up-and-coming writers. I've enjoyed reading many of the stories from the quarterly and many of the features on the web site, but most of the submissions definitely lean (if not completely fall over) toward the liberal view...and are not very spiritual. Therefore, I try to be extremely careful in picking out what to read or suggest. Proceed with caution. But, my favorite contributions to the site - which are usually safe - are the lists. The lists range from what people have observed, researched, heard, or simply just made up. I thought I would provide a few other examples of posted lists right here.

Ways To Offer Coffee Refills At A Diner
(If You Are Working At The Diner)
By Adam McGill
1. Can I top that off for you?
2. Want a shot?
3. Freshen her up?
4. Still thirsty?
5. Cap off your cup?
6. Help me finish the pot?
7. Mo' Joe for your mojo?
8. More coffee?

Names of Squash That Also Make Good
Terms of Endearment
By Laura Belous
Banana
Buttercup
Butternut
Delicata
Golden Nugget
Large Turban
Mini Turban
Pumpkin Pie
Puritan
Spaghetti
Sugar Loaf
Sweet Dumpling

Schoolyard Games for Unpopular Children
By Greg Knauss
Hide 'n Be Lonely
Goose Goose Goose
Teeter
Unhappy-Go-Round
Kick the Can, Over and Over Again, Angrily
Studio Apartment
Very Easy Tag