Recipe for Disaster

I don't subscribe to a newspaper at home. So, I really enjoy receiving one in the morning whenever I stay at a hotel. And, since ABC was not coming in on the local Lincoln cable on Wednesday night when the Country Music Awards were on, I was able to read about the awards on Thursday morning.

I also read this funny article in the USA Today Life Section. This might not mean anything to you, but it made me laugh out loud.

Cooking With Martha Contest

Soon there will be one more cook in Martha Stewart's kitchen. USA TODAY reader Kelly McDade of Springfield PA will cook with the queen of quiche November 20. McDade was one of more that 1,000 readers who submitted essays outlining why they should cook with Stewart. Here's the winning entry:

Recipe For Disaster
Ingredients:
1 cup burnt pudding
4 hamburger hockey pucks
2 cakes with Grand Canyon-sized craters
1 rolling pin covered in dough
2 lbs. meatloaf "surprise"
1/2 cup brownies stuck to pan
3 tablespoons congealed cheese sauce

Take one average female and remove all trace of inherited cooking ability, making sure to dispose of the Pennsylvania Dutch delicacies and rich Italian indulgences her grandmothers are famous for. Add a dash of not-a-clue and mix well. Let rise for 32 years then add one fiancé and one house perfect for entertaining, mixing well after each. Once the panic has clearly risen to the surface, skim with a melted spatula and discard. Place mixture in slow cooker and add ineptitude, high standards, and perfectionism. Cook at high temperature until ego is tender. Serve immediately in heaping bowls of frustration. To garnish, take to Martha Stewart for a cooking lesson.